on deciding to run...

so let's be honest here. i am most definitely not athletic by any stretch of the imagination. i never did sports growing up, i never did dance, i'm hopelessly uncoordinated when it comes to moving my arms and legs at the same time to do any kind of choreographed routine {ask my roommates from my first year of college who tried to teach me a cheer for over an hour...at which point, everyone in my apartment could do it, and i still couldn't}. 

this coupled with the fact that i was almost by full height by middle school, which meant i was usually a head taller than everyone, i was also bigger than everyone. i was never really comfortable in my skin, always very conscious of that fact. 

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but you guys, i am not my body. i am me, and my body is amazing. it does all kinds of things. things that i thought it never would and never could do. and that is amazing! 

my dear friend courtney ran her first half marathon a couple summers ago. i was so impressed with her dedication and discipline that i decided i would do one too. and i did! and i loved every second of it! i saw my body become fitter and stronger and more able. and hello, i found out i could run 9 miles without stopping {whaaaat??}. i crossed that finish line feeling like one million bucks. it was the best feeling. it was a mental and physical success for me. 

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now...over the past year i started dating, got engaged, planned a wedding, then got married. and let's be honest. i was busy having so much fun last summer that i let running kind of slip from my daily routine. and yes in all my newly wedded bliss, i've definitely put some weight back on. 

but this is not the end! i can turn things back around and add some discipline back into my life. 

as i was walking up to my apartment last night after leaving the gym i was thinking, gosh, i love how good i feel after a good run. i didn't go particularly far. but i felt worked, and strong, and tired. 

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becoming a wife has brought to reality the fact that at some point i too will actually become a mother. it's not just a wish and a dream anymore...but it will happen! i think about what i want to teach my kids and what kind of mother i want to be. how i want them to feel about themselves and the kind of people i want them to be. i want to be active and play with them. i don't want to feel like a sluggish blob. i want them to see themselves for how amazing their little able bodies are, to treat them well, and keep them strong. 

i think the biggest way we teach is by example, often without realizing the impact we have. so what kind of example am i going to be to them? i hope a good one. so here i am, recommitting {again} to be more healthy. to eat healthy, to exercise, and feel good in my skin. i'm not aiming for a size 2, or even a 6 for that matter. i'm not aiming for any size! but i am aiming to feel good. and if good is a size 10, that's a-ok with me {plus i like my curves!}. 

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here's to the beginning of training for my 4th half marathon in june, followed by my 5th on halloween, to ring in my 30th birthday {!!!}.